Smiles, Screams, and the Space In Between: A Monologue on Ice

“It’s weird how ice is ruined by something it’s made out of.”

That thought hit me today — and I just couldn't let it go. How ironic it is that two forms of the same molecule, water and ice, can damage each other. Ice melts because of water, and yet both are fundamentally the same. It’s weirdly poetic. Kind of like our own emotions.

Can one emotion destroy another? Or worse — can it destroy us?

We’re always labeling emotions. Anger = bad. Joy = good. Sadness = something to fix. But real life doesn’t work in tidy little categories. Emotions don’t arrive neatly. They come as a whole tangled mess. Overlapping, loud, quiet, contradicting each other. And sometimes, taking over.

Take anger. People say it's a warning — your body’s way of telling you that something isn’t okay. But when anger becomes the default response to everything, it starts becoming the problem. The yelling, the snapping, the urge to break or run or fight... it’s exhausting. For others, yes. But mostly, for the person who feels it.

Now flip it. Think about the one who’s always smiling.

You know who I mean. The person who laughs even when they’re hurt. Who makes a joke during serious moments. Who giggles when everyone else is crying. At first glance, they seem like the safer choice. Who wouldn’t want to be around the positive one, right?

But here’s the thing: that constant smile? That can be just as much of a red flag.

Sometimes, that joy isn’t joy. It’s armor. A mask. A way to stay liked. A way to feel in control when everything inside is chaos. And honestly? That’s unsettling. Because people like that — those who smile in the wrong moments — they confuse you. You don’t know what they’re thinking. Or feeling. And the unpredictability of that can be just as dangerous as someone who explodes.

We all assume that Person A — the angry one — is harmful. But Person B — the smiling one — could be suppressing so much that when it does come out, no one sees it coming. And that unpredictability? That’s what makes it dangerous. I’m not saying they’re bad people. I’m saying they’re struggling too, and maybe we don’t notice until it’s too late.

Why do we trust smiles so easily? Why do we fear someone just because they’re visibly angry? I don’t know. Maybe it’s conditioning. Maybe it's human psychology. But either way, we’ve got it backwards. We need to stop assuming that quiet or cheerful always means safe.

I say this because I’ve been both. The one who exploded. And the one who smiled at all the wrong things.

And sometimes, I’m neither. I just feel everything. All at once. Or nothing. At all.

Have you seen Inside Out? If you haven’t, you really should. It’s animated, sure, but it’s got more emotional truth than half the self-help books out there. Especially the second one — Inside Out 2 gets it. The moment “Anxiety” takes over the girl’s mind — that inner chaos, the constant “what ifs,” the spiral — that’s real. Way too real. That’s me. That’s most of us.

I used to let it eat me alive. Still do, on some days. But now… now I’m trying.

Trying to show up for myself. Trying to feel without being consumed. Trying to catch that storm in my head before it takes me down.

And honestly? It’s hard. I fail. A lot. Like, out of 100 times, I fail 98 times to win against that orange little guy in my head. But the 2 times I don’t? I hold on to them. I let them remind me that I can.

It took years to even get to those two wins. Years of smiling too much or screaming too loud. Years of letting emotions define me instead of just letting them exist.

Healing? It’s not about Pinterest boards and aesthetic routines. It’s messy. It’s ugly. It’s slow. And no one can do it for you until you decide it’s time.

Some days, you’ll take a step forward and fall right back three more. But you’re still moving. That’s something.

I guess what I’m saying is: don’t trust the volume of someone’s emotion to judge their pain. Loud isn’t always dangerous. And quiet isn’t always safe. It’s more complicated than that.

We all carry something. Some of us scream. Some of us smile. But we’re all trying. And that counts.

Coffee of the day

Lazy instant coffee. Nothing fancy. Just warm, simple, and enough to keep me going. Sometimes, that’s all we need. There’s a strange kind of comfort in something that asks nothing of you. It’s like a hug in a mug, especially when your mind refuses to slow down. Honestly, it’s underrated.

~The Stressed Potato

Loving the picture hehe.